Disappointments.

I hate when I disappoint my self. I hate it more when I disappoint others. I think I might have spent the good portion of the afternoon crying. I asked the wrong people about something, so I got the wrong answer... And I don't know how big the consequences are going to be. Part of me assumes automatic failure... which yay... Fucking six months down the drain because I got excited at the prospect of seeing my family for the first time in a month and going home for a day. I should have known better as a senior, going through four years. I don't know why I thought it ought to be any different or any other way. I don't. I can't stop crying and feeling like shit. Nothing anyone has said to me had made me feel any better about any of it. I try to work the hardest and be the best. I let myself down. All I want to do right now is stay in bed and not move for a week.... Fuck.